( it does feel distinctly like a deliberation, like whatever goes on behind closed doors between the defense and prosecution when a recess gets called. the only thing on trial is bucky's worth, though — and perhaps a little of ash's as well. bucky doesn't want to hurt and ash doesn't want to lie. he knows his answer well before the question even leaves bucky's mouth, like the fabric of bdsm relationships is just woven into him, down to the very core. he knows exactly what he wants, always, and he knows it's better to be upfront than to smudge the truth for bucky's sake. )
I would tell you that it doesn't matter. If I tell you to do something, you do it.
( harsh on the outside, maybe. but some people find the loss of agency freeing, because humans are all oxymorons in their own ways. )
There will probably be a lot of things I tell you to do that you won't want to, because you find them shameful or embarrassing or demeaning. But when we're in that situation, ( he gestures outside the cafe to somewhere else, far in the distance, probably with a bed bolted with manacles in place. ) none of that matters. You don't belong to yourself in that moment, because you belong to me. All of that shame is mine, too. All the pain. Everything that happens will be because it's what I want.
( somewhere in his explanation, ash had leaned forward for emphasis, stressing the seriousness of his point. now, at the tail end of it, he eases back, relaxed in his seat. under the table, he sets his foot down on the outside of bucky's, almost strangely possessive. like he can't have anyone looking at bucky's feet without first seeing his, and knowing he spoken for. )
Safewording is different. If you give me that then I'll stop, undo whatever it is that I've done, and comfort you — through touch or otherwise, we'll need to talk about what's best for you. Once you're settled, we'll talk. About the scene and whatever went wrong, how to improve it or how to avoid it in the future. ( he gestures to whatever sandwich is currently in front of bucky, like royalty. ) Eat.
no subject
I would tell you that it doesn't matter. If I tell you to do something, you do it.
( harsh on the outside, maybe. but some people find the loss of agency freeing, because humans are all oxymorons in their own ways. )
There will probably be a lot of things I tell you to do that you won't want to, because you find them shameful or embarrassing or demeaning. But when we're in that situation, ( he gestures outside the cafe to somewhere else, far in the distance, probably with a bed bolted with manacles in place. ) none of that matters. You don't belong to yourself in that moment, because you belong to me. All of that shame is mine, too. All the pain. Everything that happens will be because it's what I want.
( somewhere in his explanation, ash had leaned forward for emphasis, stressing the seriousness of his point. now, at the tail end of it, he eases back, relaxed in his seat. under the table, he sets his foot down on the outside of bucky's, almost strangely possessive. like he can't have anyone looking at bucky's feet without first seeing his, and knowing he spoken for. )
Safewording is different. If you give me that then I'll stop, undo whatever it is that I've done, and comfort you — through touch or otherwise, we'll need to talk about what's best for you. Once you're settled, we'll talk. About the scene and whatever went wrong, how to improve it or how to avoid it in the future. ( he gestures to whatever sandwich is currently in front of bucky, like royalty. ) Eat.