[ oh. it does look like a beautiful day. fresh air is fresh air, even if it's surrounded in ss officers and high, iron gates. ]
I don't need anything. Not if you're coming by.
[ i need you is what he wants to say, which is true - but it's all so complicated. every restless dream brings back the memory of that night - and that his attackers will only be moving further up the chain, later. to ash. ]
If you're not going to allow me the apology then I'm not allowing you the blame, either. That asshole -
[ he can't write his name. he can't say it. not yet. ]
Of course I trust you, Ash. I think it was Merton - I can't remember all of it right now. I think my brain is still scrambled, but something like Hope is trusting that what we have, where we are, and who we are? I don't know. I never doubt you. I never doubted the man you are. Maybe that's the hopeless optimist in me.
( he's been a diligent president for the last three years — if he asks for a little free time, he's sure to have it. the team behind him is empathetic about tim, besides. they work with him everyday, they love him too. it isn't hard.
anyway, tim knows the right things to say. he has his thumbprint on the soft part of ash's heart, and it feels tender in his chest, like a bruise you can't help prodding at. )
I wish I could give you justice right away. Publicly it's going to look like nothing's wrong, like I'm unbothered. You know that isn't true either, yes?
Don't promise. If you find the time, then just five minutes is all I'll ask. I'll time it, even.
[ a part of tim just wants to lay eyes on ash - to reach and tug him in a little close. to touch his cheek and tell him face to face that he trusts him, he believes him, and none of that will change. ]
I don't need justice. Carpathia deserves justice. A leader like that doesn't work for the good of his people. He never will. And it's why I would be out of this bed, hobbling down the White House hallways if I saw you on TV raging and passionate and stupid over this.
No promises? I'll be there. And I'll be happy to show you I'm very serious about my word.
( at least, if tim thinks he's up for it. ash does not consider himself a moral man — he'd happily fuck a wounded soldier on a hospital bed, if the soldier thought he could take it.
You’re a busy man, Mister President. I don’t want to take precedence over the well-being of the country, but if you have the time in your schedule, I could be convinced. Or gently coerced.
[ he doesn’t care what they do - he just wants to put the other man’s mind at ease. ]
Good. I know the way your heart works, Ash. It doesn’t matter to me what people say - I know you’re always doing your best to do what’s right. It’s why I’m always right here when you start to doubt yourself. That will never change. I should really come with a warning.
( it settles something nameless that lives in ash — this thrumming like a bee's wing to constantly stay in a forward motion, to always make progress than is linear and sensible. he likes tim for his practicality, but he loves tim for the dreaming north star of his heart, this unshakable belief that divides the cynics from the dreamers. he finds himself smiling at his phone, fond. )
What would that warning look like? "Slippery when wet"?
Be careful, I might have to use a wild card and surprise you one day.
[ there’s an honest warmth in ash that will never fail to make tim feel grounded even when he feels the most unmoored he’s felt the whole of his life. ]
I don’t know about that warning, though. You don’t seem to have any trouble holding onto me when wet. Maybe this is better? Warning: do not leave unattended. May distract the President with the promise of illicit activities. 😇
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I don't need anything. Not if you're coming by.
[ i need you is what he wants to say, which is true - but it's all so complicated. every restless dream brings back the memory of that night - and that his attackers will only be moving further up the chain, later. to ash. ]
If you're not going to allow me the apology then I'm not allowing you the blame, either.
That asshole -
[ he can't write his name. he can't say it. not yet. ]
Of course I trust you, Ash.
I think it was Merton - I can't remember all of it right now. I think my brain is still scrambled, but something like
Hope is trusting that what we have, where we are, and who we are? I don't know.
I never doubt you. I never doubted the man you are.
Maybe that's the hopeless optimist in me.
no subject
( he's been a diligent president for the last three years — if he asks for a little free time, he's sure to have it. the team behind him is empathetic about tim, besides. they work with him everyday, they love him too. it isn't hard.
anyway, tim knows the right things to say. he has his thumbprint on the soft part of ash's heart, and it feels tender in his chest, like a bruise you can't help prodding at. )
I wish I could give you justice right away. Publicly it's going to look like nothing's wrong, like I'm unbothered.
You know that isn't true either, yes?
no subject
If you find the time, then just five minutes is all I'll ask.
I'll time it, even.
[ a part of tim just wants to lay eyes on ash - to reach and tug him in a little close. to touch his cheek and tell him face to face that he trusts him, he believes him, and none of that will change. ]
I don't need justice. Carpathia deserves justice.
A leader like that doesn't work for the good of his people.
He never will.
And it's why I would be out of this bed, hobbling down the White House hallways if I saw you on TV raging and passionate and stupid over this.
Do you trust me, Ash?
no subject
I'll be there. And I'll be happy to show you I'm very serious about my word.
( at least, if tim thinks he's up for it. ash does not consider himself a moral man — he'd happily fuck a wounded soldier on a hospital bed, if the soldier thought he could take it.
without hesitance, )
Yes, I do.
no subject
I don’t want to take precedence over the well-being of the country, but if you have the time in your schedule, I could be convinced.
Or gently coerced.
[ he doesn’t care what they do - he just wants to put the other man’s mind at ease. ]
Good.
I know the way your heart works, Ash.
It doesn’t matter to me what people say - I know you’re always doing your best to do what’s right.
It’s why I’m always right here when you start to doubt yourself.
That will never change.
I should really come with a warning.
no subject
( it settles something nameless that lives in ash — this thrumming like a bee's wing to constantly stay in a forward motion, to always make progress than is linear and sensible. he likes tim for his practicality, but he loves tim for the dreaming north star of his heart, this unshakable belief that divides the cynics from the dreamers. he finds himself smiling at his phone, fond. )
What would that warning look like?
"Slippery when wet"?
no subject
[ there’s an honest warmth in ash that will never fail to make tim feel grounded even when he feels the most unmoored he’s felt the whole of his life. ]
I don’t know about that warning, though.
You don’t seem to have any trouble holding onto me when wet.
Maybe this is better?
Warning: do not leave unattended. May distract the President with the promise of illicit activities. 😇