I'm proud, genuinely. And I'm happy to be coerced by you. Consider me on a walk.
Sounds like they're spoiling you. ( good, ash thinks. ) You have to let me bring you something, or I'll look bad. I think I have something in mind.
Honestly? No. This whole thing is a nightmare. The peace treaty has to stand, but if I'm honest, after what happened to you ( he doesn't say anything for a long time. he prays, a little. to be a better person than he is. ) I don't feel very peaceful. That's all.
And you couldn't look bad if you tried. Sunlight looks good on you - the warmth on your face. I mean it, Ash. Take a walk.
Or come bring me some stupid romance novel we both hate and take a nap with me. I can't sleep in this place. I close my eyes and it I can't stand being alone here with
myself. my mind.
[ there's a pause on his end, too, as he waits. and what he reads breaks his heart.
timothy laughlin manages to taint everything he touches. ]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined that little bit of peace. If anyone deserves peace, it's you.
( he sends a picture, this time on the other side of the glass of the oval office, two ss officers stoically posed within the picture. it actually is a nice day, the grass in front of the white house evergreen and bright. he wishes he had a dog to send tim nice photos of, instead of a crusty old building and two men with guns. but, that's life. )
I'll come. What do you need?
( it's a favorite of ash's to ask — because he likes honesty, and feels most people are sitting on theirs, waiting for a stage. )
I can't imagine what it is you think you're apologizing for. Don't. This wasn't you. If I was better at protecting you, this wouldn't have happened. But I don't want to juggle blame. Melwas made his own choices, and he's going to pay for them.
( effectively. once ash has the proof he needs to systematically dismantle him, in one fell swoop. this has been a take down several years in the making — tim's kidnapping just moves up the timeline. )
[ oh. it does look like a beautiful day. fresh air is fresh air, even if it's surrounded in ss officers and high, iron gates. ]
I don't need anything. Not if you're coming by.
[ i need you is what he wants to say, which is true - but it's all so complicated. every restless dream brings back the memory of that night - and that his attackers will only be moving further up the chain, later. to ash. ]
If you're not going to allow me the apology then I'm not allowing you the blame, either. That asshole -
[ he can't write his name. he can't say it. not yet. ]
Of course I trust you, Ash. I think it was Merton - I can't remember all of it right now. I think my brain is still scrambled, but something like Hope is trusting that what we have, where we are, and who we are? I don't know. I never doubt you. I never doubted the man you are. Maybe that's the hopeless optimist in me.
( he's been a diligent president for the last three years — if he asks for a little free time, he's sure to have it. the team behind him is empathetic about tim, besides. they work with him everyday, they love him too. it isn't hard.
anyway, tim knows the right things to say. he has his thumbprint on the soft part of ash's heart, and it feels tender in his chest, like a bruise you can't help prodding at. )
I wish I could give you justice right away. Publicly it's going to look like nothing's wrong, like I'm unbothered. You know that isn't true either, yes?
Don't promise. If you find the time, then just five minutes is all I'll ask. I'll time it, even.
[ a part of tim just wants to lay eyes on ash - to reach and tug him in a little close. to touch his cheek and tell him face to face that he trusts him, he believes him, and none of that will change. ]
I don't need justice. Carpathia deserves justice. A leader like that doesn't work for the good of his people. He never will. And it's why I would be out of this bed, hobbling down the White House hallways if I saw you on TV raging and passionate and stupid over this.
No promises? I'll be there. And I'll be happy to show you I'm very serious about my word.
( at least, if tim thinks he's up for it. ash does not consider himself a moral man — he'd happily fuck a wounded soldier on a hospital bed, if the soldier thought he could take it.
You’re a busy man, Mister President. I don’t want to take precedence over the well-being of the country, but if you have the time in your schedule, I could be convinced. Or gently coerced.
[ he doesn’t care what they do - he just wants to put the other man’s mind at ease. ]
Good. I know the way your heart works, Ash. It doesn’t matter to me what people say - I know you’re always doing your best to do what’s right. It’s why I’m always right here when you start to doubt yourself. That will never change. I should really come with a warning.
( it settles something nameless that lives in ash — this thrumming like a bee's wing to constantly stay in a forward motion, to always make progress than is linear and sensible. he likes tim for his practicality, but he loves tim for the dreaming north star of his heart, this unshakable belief that divides the cynics from the dreamers. he finds himself smiling at his phone, fond. )
What would that warning look like? "Slippery when wet"?
Be careful, I might have to use a wild card and surprise you one day.
[ there’s an honest warmth in ash that will never fail to make tim feel grounded even when he feels the most unmoored he’s felt the whole of his life. ]
I don’t know about that warning, though. You don’t seem to have any trouble holding onto me when wet. Maybe this is better? Warning: do not leave unattended. May distract the President with the promise of illicit activities. 😇
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Sounds like they're spoiling you. ( good, ash thinks. ) You have to let me bring you something, or I'll look bad. I think I have something in mind.
Honestly? No.
This whole thing is a nightmare. The peace treaty has to stand, but if I'm honest, after what happened to you ( he doesn't say anything for a long time. he prays, a little. to be a better person than he is. ) I don't feel very peaceful. That's all.
no subject
And you couldn't look bad if you tried. Sunlight looks good on you - the warmth on your face. I mean it, Ash. Take a walk.
Or come bring me some stupid romance novel we both hate and take a nap with me.
I can't sleep in this place. I close my eyes and it
I can't stand being alone here with
myself. my mind.[ there's a pause on his end, too, as he waits. and what he reads breaks his heart.
timothy laughlin manages to taint everything he touches. ]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ruined that little bit of peace.
If anyone deserves peace, it's you.
no subject
I'll come.
What do you need?
( it's a favorite of ash's to ask — because he likes honesty, and feels most people are sitting on theirs, waiting for a stage. )
I can't imagine what it is you think you're apologizing for. Don't. This wasn't you.
If I was better at protecting you, this wouldn't have happened. But I don't want to juggle blame. Melwas made his own choices, and he's going to pay for them.
( effectively. once ash has the proof he needs to systematically dismantle him, in one fell swoop. this has been a take down several years in the making — tim's kidnapping just moves up the timeline. )
Do you trust me on that?
no subject
I don't need anything. Not if you're coming by.
[ i need you is what he wants to say, which is true - but it's all so complicated. every restless dream brings back the memory of that night - and that his attackers will only be moving further up the chain, later. to ash. ]
If you're not going to allow me the apology then I'm not allowing you the blame, either.
That asshole -
[ he can't write his name. he can't say it. not yet. ]
Of course I trust you, Ash.
I think it was Merton - I can't remember all of it right now. I think my brain is still scrambled, but something like
Hope is trusting that what we have, where we are, and who we are? I don't know.
I never doubt you. I never doubted the man you are.
Maybe that's the hopeless optimist in me.
no subject
( he's been a diligent president for the last three years — if he asks for a little free time, he's sure to have it. the team behind him is empathetic about tim, besides. they work with him everyday, they love him too. it isn't hard.
anyway, tim knows the right things to say. he has his thumbprint on the soft part of ash's heart, and it feels tender in his chest, like a bruise you can't help prodding at. )
I wish I could give you justice right away. Publicly it's going to look like nothing's wrong, like I'm unbothered.
You know that isn't true either, yes?
no subject
If you find the time, then just five minutes is all I'll ask.
I'll time it, even.
[ a part of tim just wants to lay eyes on ash - to reach and tug him in a little close. to touch his cheek and tell him face to face that he trusts him, he believes him, and none of that will change. ]
I don't need justice. Carpathia deserves justice.
A leader like that doesn't work for the good of his people.
He never will.
And it's why I would be out of this bed, hobbling down the White House hallways if I saw you on TV raging and passionate and stupid over this.
Do you trust me, Ash?
no subject
I'll be there. And I'll be happy to show you I'm very serious about my word.
( at least, if tim thinks he's up for it. ash does not consider himself a moral man — he'd happily fuck a wounded soldier on a hospital bed, if the soldier thought he could take it.
without hesitance, )
Yes, I do.
no subject
I don’t want to take precedence over the well-being of the country, but if you have the time in your schedule, I could be convinced.
Or gently coerced.
[ he doesn’t care what they do - he just wants to put the other man’s mind at ease. ]
Good.
I know the way your heart works, Ash.
It doesn’t matter to me what people say - I know you’re always doing your best to do what’s right.
It’s why I’m always right here when you start to doubt yourself.
That will never change.
I should really come with a warning.
no subject
( it settles something nameless that lives in ash — this thrumming like a bee's wing to constantly stay in a forward motion, to always make progress than is linear and sensible. he likes tim for his practicality, but he loves tim for the dreaming north star of his heart, this unshakable belief that divides the cynics from the dreamers. he finds himself smiling at his phone, fond. )
What would that warning look like?
"Slippery when wet"?
no subject
[ there’s an honest warmth in ash that will never fail to make tim feel grounded even when he feels the most unmoored he’s felt the whole of his life. ]
I don’t know about that warning, though.
You don’t seem to have any trouble holding onto me when wet.
Maybe this is better?
Warning: do not leave unattended. May distract the President with the promise of illicit activities. 😇